I know some of you have been searching for something that goes beyond “closure.” Maybe “recognition” feels closer to the truth—the kind of recognition we wish we had from our providers or fertility clinics about the paths we’ve walked.

Last night, I finally had a moment I’d been dreaming of for six years. I came face-to-face with my reproductive endocrinologist—the doctor who told me in 2018 that my only frozen embryo wasn’t viable for implantation. It had tested positive for trisomy 16, and after reviewing my history of low response rates and canceled cycles, he suggested it might be time to look into egg donor services or adoption. Jack and I ultimately decided neither path was right for us, so my communication with the clinic ended there.

For years, I imagined running into him and telling him what happened next—how I went from being in a place of desperation to becoming a life coach and creating a community for women like you, women who find themselves childless after infertility.

When I finally got the chance to speak with him, I shared how I left a successful corporate career to become a certified life coach and support women navigating life after fertility treatments. Whether or not he remembered me, he was receptive, and it felt validating. I realized how important it is for us to be seen, not just as patients but as women whose journeys deserve acknowledgment, even when they don’t end in the way we had dreamed.

Imagining Your Own Conversation

I know I’m not alone in wishing for this conversation, and I imagine some of you have your own version of this moment you’d love to have. Whether you’ll get that conversation or not, I encourage you to put it down in words. Think about what you would want your doctor or your care team to know. What have you accomplished since your treatment? What strength have you uncovered in yourself?

Take a moment to do some “paper thinking” after reading this. Write out what that conversation would look like for you. There’s something therapeutic about acknowledging the journey you’ve been on and the person you’ve become through it. And if you feel like you don’t know where to go next, I’d love to help you navigate this path toward a life where you can thrive, even without the children you once dreamed of.

Book a Free Thrive Call

If you’re feeling stuck or unsure, I’m here for you. You can book a free Thrive Call with me, where we’ll talk about where you are in your journey, where you want to go, and how to create a plan that feels right for you. You don’t need to feel “amazing” about your life without children to celebrate who you are and create a story that feels true to you. You are always invited to see yourself, to recognize your strength, and to begin creating a story that makes you feel proud.

In my Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, I work with women to reclaim their stories and create a new path forward. So often, we find ourselves held hostage by stories society tells us about women who don’t become mothers. But those stories don’t have to define us. You have the power to write your own, a story that reflects the pride and resilience that you feel—or are working towards.